After 12 years of marriage, my wife and I have reached the conclusion that it is indeed time to open up our relationship.
How did it go?
We spent the latter part of our Christmas holiday writing up a contract between ourselves. It ended being eight pages long with multiple governing points. The idea was to protect each other from legal ramifications and potential feelings. I will not get into the fine details but it turned out being both strict and remarkably lenient.
We both started differently…
We took the dating apps and divided them so that we would not cross paths, She got Plenty of Fish (POF) and Ashley Madison, I got tinder, HUD, and Pure. I’ve already abandoned them, we will get back to that. She actively maintains profiles on both and seemingly is doing quite well. As for me, I already knew a girl I was interested in seeing naked and focused on that single avenue. I work away doing mobile service work so whenever I am in a particular city I grab a hotel room.
We both agree that this opportunity will allow us to work out some sexual frustration and explore suppressed desires.
Aside from sex, the new agreements allows us to get some of the things we need from other people. She likes dancing and likes to ski, I do not. She now has the freedom to take someone of a weekend trip to Jasper and enjoy those things.
There is no doubt we are walking in dangerous ground. Feelings are very real and need to be navigated with extreme caution. But how to you logistically do that? If someone makes you feel good you generally want to keep them around.
Since the agreement was activated roughly a month ago, I have spent two nights with someone, seemingly I have chosen a good partner with the perfect amount of desire. Things that happened were not so basic and limits were tested. I have uncovered desires that I didn’t even know I had.
Writing about this will be key to mental clarity and comfort, Seventy Seven Oaks will be my therapy.